Child-Free Sibling Asks Family to Exclude Children from Birthday Dinner

One Reddit user is sharing why they don’t want certain guests at their birthday dinner.

In a post on Reddit’s Would I Be the A—— forum, the poster explained that their family has a long-standing tradition of going out to dinner for birthdays. They noted that there are around eight adults in their family, which means there’s a birthday dinner roughly every month or two.

Over the years, however, the family dinners have grown in size as their siblings and cousins have had children — now ranging in age from infants to 8 years old. The Redditor added that they are the only one in the family without kids and says they plan to keep it that way.

“I have always treasured these birthday dinners as a great way to see everyone, catch up and reconnect,” they wrote. “Since a lot more children have been born into the family, the dynamic of these dinners has changed drastically. What used to be reminiscing and laughing together has turned into constant interruption, catching kids running around the restaurant, dealing with outbursts here and there, or the kids just sitting on their iPads the whole time while everyone talks about their kids.”

“I realize kids change a parent’s life forever and can respect that lifestyle, but I find it a bit isolating when kid talk is the only talk ever happening now,” they added. “For context, I am also the youngest by a sizable age difference, so I have always felt like an outsider — this is just adding to it. It also feels like no one can sit, relax and enjoy the evening without needing to tend to the kids every five seconds.”

The Redditor went on to explain that with their birthday approaching, they’re already thinking ahead to their dinner celebration. Since having the whole family — and all their kids — tends to feel overstimulating, and because they’re more comfortable in smaller gatherings, they had an idea: to request that their birthday dinner be child-free, just once a year.

They said it sounded much nicer to be able to have full-length adult conversations and truly reconnect with their family.

“I also thought it sounded like a nice break for the parents, to spend time with family without constantly having to worry about their children,” they continued. “I understand some of them may want their children to be there, but if they are just staring at their iPads the whole dinner I’m not sure I see the point, frankly.”

“I want to add that I am not someone who has a problem with kids in public or thinks they shouldn’t be there,” they added. “I like kids — I just find it hard to connect with adults when they are around sometimes.”

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Since posting, hundreds of people have chimed into the conversation to share their thoughts on the situation.

One user suggested the Redditor explain to their family what they want for their birthday and give plenty of notice in case they need to find childcare, or can’t make it. “You are within your rights to say no kids, and they are within theirs to say thank you but no thank you,” the commenter added.

Another person offered additional advice based on personal experience. “My family started doing birthday dinners at a home instead of a restaurant once kiddos came into the picture,” they wrote. “More time to relax, more places for kids to play safely, and take out is fun! Try recommending an in home party if someone has the space and willingness to host.”